After Life
by astridt244
Summary: Paws & Art 2.0 Anonymous Contest - Winner - First Place. Summary: After Bella gives birth, nothing is as it seems...


_**My One Shot won First Place in the Paws & Art 2.0 Anonymous Contest.**_

_(Link on my profile.)_

* * *

**Banner:** 37

**Title: **After Life

**Genre: **Supernatural/Drama

**Warnings: **Strong content, language

**Summary:** After Bella gives birth, nothing is as it seems...

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

**After Life**

* * *

The last clear image embedded into her mind was of Edward, crimson stained lips, holding something slimy, with dark hair, and wailing in his arms. The soft bell-like cry reminded her of vampires. She attempted to open her dry, cracked lips, but only managed a wheezing cough. Darkness crept over her eyes, stealing her life away...

Her flesh boiled in the inferno of the change. She never knew pain at this level. All she wanted was to sink into the void of death; to beg Edward to end this hellfire slicing her insides. The screams she wanted to release lodged in her throat, forcing her to instead listen to the others murmur their concerns around her.

"_Maybe… Carlisle, maybe I was too late."_

"_Listen to her heart, Edward. It's stronger than even Emmett's was. I've never heard anything so vital. She'll be perfect…"_

She did not feel the elusive perfection they spoke of. No - there was no flawlessness, beauty, and the other lies that blinded her. All she felt was a deep longing for _another _being, excruciating hatred, and insurmountable regret. The tsunami of emotions settled in side by side with her as she froze in time. Forever eighteen… forever wishing for death… forever living an existence that was never meant to be…

* * *

Finally, after plagues of anguish, her eyes fluttered open to the new world.

Everything was strange and clear; as though she were looking through a high definition lens. She glanced at the auburn haired man (_boy_) next to her – _was this whom she married?_ A lanky teen, with the whisper of muscle definition trademark of puberty. _Was his appearance always so... lacking? _

She stared at the mirror on the other side of the room, her replica taunting her. Not a trace of Bella Swan remained. In the place of a young, innocent girl stood a waifish statue of an individual with only a hint of maturity. Her eyes, now red, were hollow - _lifeless_. She noticed a shimmer of light from an object near the window. Breezing to the bookcase, she lifted the picture and traced the lines of the brown-eyed girl's face, smiling for the camera on her wedding day. Venom pooled in her tears ducts, sliding down her granite cheeks. _What had she done?_

The auburn haired boy remained silent, watching her every move. Expecting _something_, she surmised.

She was forgetting something... something important... A rustling sound from downstairs made her jump. She was not anticipating the hyper sensitive hearing. She scented the air, picking apart every aroma – from Rosalie's potent artificial spray, to Alice's nail polish, then a spicy, earthy mixture, and finally orchids. Right away, she knew, orchids… _Renesmee_.

Before she took another step, her husband gripped her arm, "You can't. You need to feed first." He startled a bit at the sight of her bared, shiny teeth and the growling tenor in her breast. He loosened his hold, soothing her as though she were a pet. "Love, I simply mean-"

"Do not touch me again, Edward," he relinquished her limb and raised his hands in a placating gesture. She touched her throat, a slight tingle made itself known, then disappeared. "Where is she?"

Rosalie's heels clanked on the wooden floor, headed toward her. She mentally prepared by taking note of the exits in case she became a danger to the child. When the female vampire entered, the baby in her arms sought out its mother with its daunting intelligent gaze. Placing the child in her mother's arms, the female coven member left the room with a wide, off-putting smile, "Welcome to the Family, Bella."

She stared at the face of the child; the instant bond she had while pregnant was... _gone_. The love she felt once the father tore through the flesh of her abdomen in order to rescue the child - _absent_. There was _nothing_; a black hole instead of happiness and familial affections.

Then, the flavor on the child's taste buds wafted in her deliberate breath. _Blood_… they fed it blood.

This was no child.

When she dreamed on Isle Esme of a little boy, she assumed that was the child growing in her womb. Not this _thing _that lie in its place. Was that not what her husband called it? A thing.

The hybrid in her arms bit at her finger, nearly breaking the cold, marble skin. It was strong for a youngling, and it would only get stronger. _Why had she been so adamant on birthing this creature?_

She ignored the protests of her husband. It was apparent he still did not have the ability to dig through her thoughts. If he could, he would not be standing idly by as she steadied her control. There was only one solution, and she would not be deterred. Too many sacrifices had been made in her honor. It was her place to set things right. She was after all, her mother...

* * *

_**Five Years Later**_

_**Mulberry, North Dakota**_

* * *

"The apartment is on the fifth floor. Elevator is to the right. Rent is due on the 3rd of every month. Any questions?"

"No, Sir. Thank you." She handed the manager the rent for the next three months, and waited for her receipt.

She decided to walk up the stairs, memorizing entryways, exits, and fire escapes. Even though she had no one to fear, she preferred to have a backup plan in case her situation turned dire.

She made her way to the place she would call home for the next few years. Her cell vibrated with ignored alerts. She knew what today was, and she simply did not want to rehash destroyed feelings from the coven she once longed to join.

Five years ago, she rid the world of a creature that should never have existed. In her mind, she set the trapped human soul within the being free; a soul that rightfully belonged to her. The auburn haired man-child shrieked in terror at the act he witnessed. She surprised them all, including the wolves surrounding the home. Human Bella would have _never_... Human Bella would have _sacrificed_... Human Bella loved _Edward_...

Only, she was not Human Bella. They mistook her for the child they stole from her beloved father and whimsical mother. The girl who was so desperate to belong, to be forever young, and to die in order to live - the oxymoron of the century.

She did not seek forgiveness afterword - from him or those present - for it was his doing. His decisions caused the ripple effect. He introduced her to horror, to the addictive allure of his coven. He ensured she would never breathe out of necessity again. He signed her death certificate when he returned from Alaska to acclimate himself to her scent years ago. And now, she was damned to exist in this half life...

Moaning from next door snared her out of the morbidity of the past. A musical laugh escaped her deep, red lips. Someone was having a bit of fun on a Wednesday night.

She hurried through her chores – rearranging the delivered furniture and sanitizing each surface of the apartment. The obsessive compulsive nature of her human life amplified as a vampire.

Once completed, she decided to go on a walk. Unlike her former choices, Mulberry rarely saw daylight. Compared to this place, Forks was the sunshine capital of the world.

_Sunshine_.

She tried, every passing moment, to forget the person who once brought the sun with him wherever he ventured. Obsession fueled the loss of a different future she turned her back on as a human after the newborn battle... two dark haired, beautiful children, running toward a large, reddish wolf. The dead heart in her ribcage gave a ghostly pang of hurt. She loved those children. Human children, with the shifter that loved _her _more than his own life... The last time he spared her a glance was when Seth delivered the news of the hybrid's demise. His piercing eyes glazed over, and for an inexplicable reason, he turned away from all of them and left.

Nights like these, she wished with all her might she could sleep. Hours upon hours, alone with your thoughts causes one to grow weary. Wishing for change; or perhaps another chance, for this all to be one horrific nightmare. It becomes overwhelming. It's as though she has a switch inside of her to turn her emotions off or on. So far, the temptation to turn it off, to give in to the abyss of the monster inside, has been snuffed at every turn.

_How much longer can she hold out?_

* * *

Upon her return, the neighbor's door opened. It was well past two in the morning; she shook her head and smirked. At least her neighbor was an entertaining night owl. Her key clicked on the lock, just as a familiar odor stormed through her - _spicy, earthy, man... It couldn't be..._

Yet, even as she realized who lived there, she was unprepared for the tornado of longing and remorse that assaulted her. He kissed the petite woman, and whispered words of an erotic nature. The smile on his full lips once belonged to her; now it was given freely to the human female.

He watched the woman leave, staring at her backside, before his dark eyes met hers. She detected the increased blood flow in his veins, his lungs inhaling and exhaling oxygen at a rapid rate, yet there was something _different_.

He closed his eyes then opened them, and stared at her as though she were an apparition. His lips moved, slowly, forcing her name out of his mouth, _"Bella?"_

She nodded. Her vocabulary forgotten as she captured his gaze in her own. He looked older. The lines of age defining his face to a more masculine structure. She would be lying if she denied how attractive he was. His airy cologne, the sweat lightly beaded on his dark skin, his massive build... she did not appreciate this specimen of a man as a teenaged human. In this instant, he appealed to her in a primitive way.

He cleared his throat, drawing her attention back to his moving lips, "You live here?"

She licked her lips, her nerves cranked up immeasurably, "Yes."

Jacob spared her one more glance, then strode back into his apartment. When he was out of sight, she took in copious amounts of unnecessary air, willing the strange, turbulent emotions to go away.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried, she could not stop it. She had never lost control. Every act since her change was calculated, exact, and without falter. _Until tonight_. She was lost in a craze, drowning in a sea of Fate's cruelty.

She did the only thing she could do, the only thing she had control over... she ran. Blurring past buildings, yards, invisible to the naked eye, she found what she was searching - _another vampire_. The male, disguised as a homeless man, crouched in a defensive position, curling his legs as though he were a spider. He snarled, his teeth glistening with fresh, sweet smelling blood. She interrupted his meal. Ignoring the cries and pleas of the human under her foe, she launched herself toward the male. The sound of their bodies colliding created a sonic boom. She did not stop. She craved this outlet, a way to forget, to lose herself entirely.

With the ease of the malicious, sadistic killer she was, the torture began... _one limb at a time_... until the other vampire begged for his true, final death.

* * *

Venom oozed from her wounds courtesy of her deceased opponent. She scaled the side of the building bathed in shadows, concealing herself as she opened the window leading to the hallway. She hissed when the lower wall made contact with the gaping bite mark on her forearm. A warm, strong hand grabbed her shirt and hauled her over the rest of the way. She immediately went to attack, pinning the one who dare touch her to the carpet. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was. He took advantage of her slackened grip and flipped them over, forcing her arms over her head. "That isn't the thanks I was expecting for helping you, dead girl."

She turned her head, refusing to look at him. He chuckled darkly. She could feel his penetrating gaze as it took in her torn clothing, exposing her to his scrutiny. He leaned in - the warm breath made her shiver involuntarily - and sniffed at her. "You don't _smell_. But, there is some venom... and bleach."

He knew. She understood this. She just did not want to discuss why she had to kill again. He lithely stood, and helped her up. _Too much, too soon._ She muttered a thank you and raced to the sanctuary of her apartment. Tomorrow, she would talk to him... if she could control herself.

* * *

Tomorrow came and went.

Then, a week drifted by without another encounter with Jacob. She managed to slink away unnoticed when his female companion came to visit him. Unfortunately, with their history, she knew sooner or later they would run into each other...

By Friday, figuring out who was avoiding the other was close to impossible. Perhaps it was a coincidence; however, she stopped believing in coincidences years ago. Which is why when she ventured out of her apartment at dusk, taking the back way in order to avoid innocents, that she was not surprised to see Jacob casually leaning against the brick wall at the end of the alley. His large muscles wound tight under the white shirt was the only indicator of any apprehension toward her.

She eyed him suspiciously as she closed the space between them. "What are you doing out here?"

He took her arm and dragged her with him, leading her to the street. "I think it's high time we talk, don't you, dead girl?"

She didn't know what to make of the nickname. It was true, she was for all intents and purposes dead; but, hearing _him _say it was... painful. A reminder of her poor choices.

He chose a dimly lit cafe, nudging her to the back of the establishment. Near the fire exit was a secluded booth; she sat and concentrated on her forced breathing. Her cold skin still tingled from his warm touch. She willed her emotions to cease; this was not about her. He apparently had some questions that needed answers only she could supply. That's all this was - an exchange of information... at least that's what she kept telling herself.

* * *

Jacob finished devouring his dinner, wiping the steak juice off his full lips. She licked hers without realizing it. He tipped back his beer bottle, his adams apple moving with each pull. She'd been thoroughly entertained watching him, curious as to how certain aspects were sensual. He smacked his lips and grinned at her, "Don't know what you're missing, dead girl."

She shifted in her chair, being cautious to continue the human theatric. "What did you want to discuss?"

His eyebrow hitched up at her professional tone. "Going this route, are we?" He shrugged at his own question, "Fine by me. How about you start at the beginning, when you turned into a walking, talking corpse?"

She bared her teeth at him, irritated by the attitude, "Watch how you talk to me. I'm not the same sniveling little human you knew."

"That's a tragedy we are stuck with because of you, not me. Playing that martyr card got old five fucking years ago, sweetheart."

She bristled at the accusation, "You don't know why I had to become like this. Giving me shit is a moot point. What's done is done."

"That's true. However, I wanna know what happened, and you," he reached over and poked her in the middle of the chest, _hard_, "are going to tell me. Call it morbid curiosity if it makes you feel better."

She swatted his hand away. "Cliff notes version: I opened my eyes and realized that Edward was a disgusting obsession. Then, Rosalie brought me _what _he ripped from my womb. Combine that with the sickening epiphany that it was already drinking blood, and there was no other choice. I was not allowing such a thing to continue to live. I may have been out of my mind and blinded by the Cullen's as a human, but once I was changed, it stripped me bare and down to the raw bone. Too many lives had been ruined because of my inability to make the _right _choices."

He nodded in understanding. She continued with a question that was never answered by any of her former coven members, "There was something I thought about, and I wanted to ask you. Why did you run away after Seth told you about the hybrid's death?"

He looked away from her, picking apart the label of his empty long-neck. He called the waitress back to their table and ordered another beer. Bella crossed her legs, patiently waiting for him to gather himself. He finished the fresh bottle in a three gulps. "When you died... when I heard your heart take its last beats... a part of me wanted to die with you. Hell, a part of me did. I could hear that _thing _downstairs; the rapid, inhuman heartbeat, and all I saw was red. I wanted to kill it. No one was paying attention, Cullen was pumping you full of poison, and I went to destroy the creature in Blondie's arms. Then, I looked into its eyes... and I imprinted."

She stopped breathing. All notion of her human facade effectively forgotten. _He imprinted... on the hybrid? But, why? How?_

His panicked tone filtered through her inner ramblings, "Hey, quit being a fucking statue and breathe. Did you forget we're in a public place?"

"I don't understand. You imprinted on vampire spawn?"

"Trust me, I didn't plan on being the freak in the pack. Leave it to me to _not _imprint on the girl I loved, but instead imprint on a half breed."

She rubbed her temples; wondering if it was possible for a vampire to suffer a headache. "So that's why you left? Because I... I killed-"

"Look, it wasn't like Sam and the other guys. It was different. The best way to describe it is like being trapped in your own consciousness. No one could hear me, or help me. I was desperate, screaming at myself to stop, to kill the thing that took you from me. On the outside, physically, I looked happy. Cullen even tried to fight me over the imprint. He could hear in my thoughts how much hatred I had toward _it_, but my body, my wolf contradicted everything. It was fucked up. When you did what you did, you set me free."

"Why did you leave after it broke?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "I belonged to myself again. You think I wanted to stick around and wait for something else to fuck me over? Plus, I didn't need to see you and corpse boy all lovey and shit."

Her gut twisted in shame and regret for being so foolish and careless. Jacob did not deserve what she did to him. She'd lived with her regret for years, never thinking that he could possibly forgive her. "We weren't. Nothing was the way he hoped it would be. Then I did _that_, and they shunned me. Edward was distraught. Esme could not believe I would do such an atrocious thing. You and I knew how Rosalie felt during the pregnancy. She didn't let me leave without a fight. She went into a rage. Emmett, my supposed honorary big brother, turned his back on me too. Especially after I returned Rosalie to him without arms and legs."

If he was surprised, he did not show it. "Did you kill her too?"

"No. They were able to use Emmett's venom to put her back together. A few days later, I left. They didn't care. The only time they contact me is every year on the day of the hybrid's death. Perhaps assuming at some point I will apologize and grovel at their feet. It will never happen. They destroyed who I was with no remorse. Pretending to be alive, effectively lulling humans into complacence is far more dangerous than our true nature."

Jacob's focus lay on her, taking in her appearance she supposed. Neither said anything for a long time.

She began to feel the all too familiar prickles in her throat from not feeding all day. "I have to go hunt. I'm sure we'll run into one another again seeing as we're neighbors."

Standing up next to the booth, he stretched and popped his neck. He rubbed his stomach, making his shirt lift and his abs to peek out, bunching and tensing with his motions. He noticed the blatant staring and leered at her, "Like what you see, dead girl?"

She snorted in feigned annoyance, "Kind of hard to not notice you when you're practically stripping."

His booming laugh made her smile. He gripped her shoulder as he passed by her. "See you, Bells."

Her cold, unmoving heart gave a ghostly pang at the old nickname. She watched him leave, then blankly stared at the menu in front of her. Part of her wished she had the courage to go after him. _What would that accomplish?_ Nothing. He had a life, and she merely existed. Their worlds were too far apart...

The abrupt warmth on her granite, wintry skin surprised her. Jacob jerked her out of the booth, wrapped his arms around her, and pressed his lips against hers. Without hesitation, she returned his enthusiasm with fervor, squeezing the muscles of his back on down to his narrow waist. She closed her eyes, losing herself in Jacob. There was no one and nothing else that mattered; it all faded into oblivion, leaving only them. His tongue toyed with hers, caressing, teasing, nearly dizzying her with want.

He eased away from her, planting softer, delicate kisses to her cheeks. His rough, deep voice felt like a balm to her abused soul, "I promised you then, and regardless of what's happened, as fucked up as it might be, I still mean it now... _maybe even then_."

She gazed up at him, at a loss. He beamed at her, squeezed her once more, then walked away. She touched her lips, relishing in the miasma of hope filling her...

_Maybe even then_...


End file.
